it is commonly known that there are different types of intelligence, and it should follow that there are different types of stupidity, but this fact seems less well-known. anyway, here is a resource for crafting your himbos and regular dumbasses
classic book smart but no common/practical sense: this is the character that speaks 8 languages or has multiple phds or is a pioneer in their field but can’t cook mac and cheese from a box or be trusted with a weed whacker. as the title says, a classic, very valid.
book smart, may have practical sense, but Does It Anyway: This is the character constantly asking, “What happens if…” The answer is usually swearing and property damage.
wise but classically stupid: this character will hit you with deep wisdom and advice about life but then will ask you how many legs a duck has . Underutilized and underrated.
wise but can’t take their own advice: This character will give you profound advice about life and then end up falling-down drunk in a ditch in florida covered in alligator bite marks and sobbing about their ex. They’re completely levelheaded when advising other people but all their personal decisions are just the worst
competent at exactly one thing: self explanatory.
good-hearted and well intentioned, but socially clueless: will tell their girlfriend that her dress makes her look rectangular, and be confused why this isn’t taken as a compliment, and then buy her a chameleon to make up because women like chameleons, right
practical sense but can’t read the room: levelheaded and good at whatever it is that they do, but not good at being diplomatic. will call you an idiot to your face if you question their practical know-how no matter how important you are.
not actually lacking in cleverness or sense, but no impulse control: thoughts take longer to load than actions for this character. hindsight is 20/20, but it’s hind instead of fore
lovable and socially intelligent but completely stupid otherwise: this character is cute, charismatic or socially adept enough to make it just about anywhere. It takes a private, informal conversation for people to realize that there’s nothing going on upstairs
smart maybe 30% of the time: it’s a total crap shoot whether this character’s thoughts and ideas are brilliant or terrible. They sometimes come up with something great, often enough for them to be thought of as a genius, but a lot of the time there’s nothing in their head but bullshit
Tag yourself, I’m #1. I have a masters, a novel and a company but litterally got banned from cooking for a few years because I lit 3 separate microwaves on fire- all via trying to make easymac.
The very first time I remember you, you are blonde and don’t love me back. The next time you are brunette, and you do. After a while I give up trying to guess if the colour of your hair means anything. because even if you don’t exist, I am always in love with you. I remember most fondly those lifetimes where we get to grow up together, when you share your secrets and sorrows and hiding places with me. I love how you play along with my bad ideas, before you grow up and realize they are bad ideas. (And in our times together I have many bad ideas.) When we meet as adults you’re always much more discerning. I don’t blame you. Yet, always, you forgive me. As if you understand what’s going on, and you’re making up for all the lifetimes in which one of us doesn’t exist, and the ones where we just, barely, never meet. I hate those. I prefer the ones in which you kill me. But when all’s said and done, I’d surrender to you in other ways. Even though each time, I know I’ll see you again, I always wonder is this the last time? Is that really you? And what if you’re perfectly happy without me? Ah, but I don’t blame you; I’ll never burn as brilliantly as you. It’s only fair that I should be the one to chase you across ten, twenty-five, a hundred lifetimes until I find the one where you’ll return to me.
Sticking a landing will royally fuck up your joints and possibly shatter your ankles, depending on how high you’re jumping/falling from. There’s a very good reason free-runners dive and roll.
Hand-to-hand fights usually only last a matter of seconds, sometimes a few minutes. It’s exhausting work and unless you have a lot of training and history with hand-to-hand combat, you’re going to tire out really fast.
Arrows are very effective and you can’t just yank them out without doing a lot of damage. Most of the time the head of the arrow will break off inside the body if you try pulling it out, and arrows are built to pierce deep. An arrow wound demands medical attention.
Throwing your opponent across the room is really not all that smart. You’re giving them the chance to get up and run away. Unless you’re trying to put distance between you so you can shoot them or something, don’t throw them.
Everyone has something called a “flinch response” when they fight. This is pretty much the brain’s way of telling you “get the fuck out of here or we’re gonna die.” Experienced fighters have trained to suppress this. Think about how long your character has been fighting. A character in a fist fight for the first time is going to take a few hits before their survival instinct kicks in and they start hitting back. A character in a fist fight for the eighth time that week is going to respond a little differently.
ADRENALINE WORKS AGAINST YOU WHEN YOU FIGHT. THIS IS IMPORTANT. A lot of times people think that adrenaline will kick in and give you some badass fighting skills, but it’s actually the opposite. Adrenaline is what tires you out in a battle and it also affects the fighter’s efficacy - meaning it makes them shaky and inaccurate, and overall they lose about 60% of their fighting skill because their brain is focusing on not dying. Adrenaline keeps you alive, it doesn’t give you the skill to pull off a perfect roundhouse kick to the opponent’s face.
Swords WILL bend or break if you hit something hard enough. They also dull easily and take a lot of maintenance. In reality, someone who fights with a sword would have to have to repair or replace it constantly.
Fights get messy. There’s blood and sweat everywhere, and that will make it hard to hold your weapon or get a good grip on someone.
A serious battle also smells horrible. There’s lots of sweat, but also the smell of urine and feces. After someone dies, their bowels and bladder empty. There might also be some questionable things on the ground which can be very psychologically traumatizing. Remember to think about all of the character’s senses when they’re in a fight. Everything WILL affect them in some way.
If your sword is sharpened down to a fine edge, the rest of the blade can’t go through the cut you make. You’ll just end up putting a tiny, shallow scratch in the surface of whatever you strike, and you could probably break your sword.
ARCHERS ARE STRONG TOO. Have you ever drawn a bow? It takes a lot of strength, especially when you’re shooting a bow with a higher draw weight. Draw weight basically means “the amount of force you have to use to pull this sucker back enough to fire it.” To give you an idea of how that works, here’s a helpful link to tell you about finding bow sizes and draw weights for your characters. (CLICK ME)
If an archer has to use a bow they’re not used to, it will probably throw them off a little until they’ve done a few practice shots with it and figured out its draw weight and stability.
People bleed. If they get punched in the face, they’ll probably get a bloody nose. If they get stabbed or cut somehow, they’ll bleed accordingly. And if they’ve been fighting for a while, they’ve got a LOT of blood rushing around to provide them with oxygen. They’re going to bleed a lot.
Here’s a link to a chart to show you how much blood a person can lose without dying. (CLICK ME)
If you want a more in-depth medical chart, try this one. (CLICK ME)
Hopefully this helps someone out there. If you reblog, feel free to add more tips for writers or correct anything I’ve gotten wrong here.
In case you writers ever wondered. Made by Carrie Patrick on Facebook.
The object comparisons are things of an equivalent weight, not things you can cut with the swords. Just saying so to preemptively stop cursed comments.
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